^{Credit: Ebenezer (Paramount Pictures)}

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Sometimes, a movie can have all of the right ingredients except the most crucial one. In the case of Ebenezer, it’s the actor playing Mr. Scrooge, Johnny Depp. Say what you will about Depp as a person, but he’s given some of my favorite on-screen performances (Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Jack Sparrow). Even before a certain trial dominated his image, though, Depp was starting to become a parody of himself. Depp is still in self-parody mode as Ebenezer Scrooge, undermining what could’ve been a gothic retelling of the Charles Dickens classic. Every time Ebenezer starts to work, Depp mugs at the camera, reminding us why it doesn’t.

It’s a shame, as there is a lot to admire in this adaptation, from Tyler Bates’ haunting musical score to the bone-chilling makeup effects. If you’re going to lean into the horror aspect of this ghost story, Ti West is an inspired choice to direct. This is arguably West’s best-looking movie, from the production design, to the costumes, to even the atmospheric opening credits. From the first scene, though, this movie has an evident problem. It also has a solution starring the filmmakers in the face. Depp should’ve swapped roles with Ian McKellen, who plays Jacob Marley.

Before dying, we see why Marley is destined to spend eternity dragging heavy chains and money boxes. Marley is perhaps even crueler than Scrooge, with McKellen making the most of his limited screen time. Where Marley captures the gravitas his role deserves, Depp approaches the material like an SNL sketch. Almost every line delivery is loud, over-the-top, and borderline comedic. Although Ti West has blended horror and comedy before, Depp as Scrooge isn’t Mia Goth as Pearl. The dark, broody atmosphere West creates doesn’t mesh with Depp’s silly faces (and pants wetting). Yeah, that happens. Maybe Depp’s performance could’ve worked if this was a straight-up parody, but the actor and director never feel like they’re on the same wavelength.

Whether it's George C. Scott in the 1984 adaptation of A Christmas Carol or Scrooge McDuck in Mickey’s Christmas Carol, the best Scrooges all had a dignity to them. Even Jim Carrey understood this in the mo-cap Christmas Carol, dialing back his usual antics. Watching Depp, all I could think about was something Michael Caine said when he signed on for The Muppet Christmas Carol. Despite acting opposite felt, Caine said, “I'm going to play this movie like I'm working with the Royal Shakespeare Company. I will never wink, I will never do anything Muppety. I am going to play Scrooge as if it is an utterly dramatic role and there are no puppets around me.” Depp doesn’t just act as if he’s in a Muppet movie. He’s more Muppety than the Muppets.

As distracting as Depp’s voice and mannerisms are, there’s a good adaptation of A Christmas Carol trying to get out here. While Nathaniel Halpern’s script mainly sticks to the source material, he makes a few welcome additions. More attention is given to Belle, who could’ve been the love of Scrooge’s life. It’s implied that the spirits who haunt Scrooge are also cursed for their deeds in life. That’s a fascinating concept I wish were further explored. Maybe in another adaptation. For all the grim imagery, there is room for some joy, a highlight being a rendition of Silent Night. Moments like this remind us why A Christmas Carol is such a timeless tale that’ll always be open to new interpretations.

That said, there are better adaptations of this story, and certainly better portrayals of Scrooge. It’s ironic that Ebenezer is being promoted as Depp’s comeback, as this story is about redemption and seeing the error of your ways. Observing Depp, though, you don’t see an actor trying to mature or escape into a role. You see Depp doing the same schtick that got tired by the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. For someone who was once an acting chameleon (even playing one in Rango), Depp now seems disinterested in playing anyone other than his own caricature. For its craft, West’s direction, and supporting cast, I give Ebenezer a tip of the hat. For Depp as Ebenezer himself, all I can say is, “Good afternoon.”

Awards Potential:

Best Makeup and Hairstyling (Oscars)

Nick Spake is the Author of Bright & Shiny: A History of Animation at Award Shows Volumes 1, 2, and 3. Available Now!